At the ripe age of 9, my parents suddenly divorced, leaving me angry and heartbroken. What happened then, and in the years after, was that I tried to make sense of things by doing the only thing I knew how to do… internalize. From that time on, I spent a lot of time creating stories about how I wasn’t good enough. I wanted to “fit in” and be accepted so badly because I lost the love for myself when my parents split. What I found is that there weren’t enough friends I could have or accolades I could accumulate to mask the void that was within myself. But when I first discovered drugs at age 16, that all changed. So I thought…

Within a few short years, I was in rehab for the first time for a horrendous cocaine addiction. After faking my way through life for another few years, opiates entered my life again and I started my tailspin. From ages 24-29 I saw my life spiral completely out of control. Pills turned to heroin eventually when the money ran out and the lengths I was going to get my fix were far beyond anything I thought I was ever capable of. In the midst of a deceitful marriage and multiple felony cases against me, I overdosed and had a grand mal seizure in 2014. I was in a coma for a week and was told after that I wasn’t supposed to live. By the grace of God, I walked out of the hospital 2 days after waking and have been clean since.

In the time since, my life has been filled with overwhelming, often crippling, anxiety and depression from the trauma of nearly losing my life. Additionally, all the pain and nervous system dysregulation from childhood and adolescent years were bubbling up to the surface at the same time. I couldn’t handle it. I would spiral into bouts of mental health woes that would last months at a clip. I used sex and constant distraction to mask the way I was feeling. I decided I had enough of living that way and sought help in 2019. Even in sobriety, I came to the stark realization that I was still an addict who hasn’t dealt with my emotions. I’ve been on the deepest of journeys getting in touch with the depth of myself since; the pain, the insecurities, the traumas, the fears. Through my journey, the amazing mentors who have helped me heal, and the wisdom I’ve gained, I’ve realized that my purpose here is to help others change their lives the same way others have helped me change mine. Through God, community, a regulated nervous system, and new belief systems, the world can truly be your oyster! I’m so blessed to have you here and to help me realize that this shit is so much fun!!